I started this blog as a way of sharing my personal story with those who know me. Over time, I noticed a few people unknown to me were reading and subscribing. That sincerely makes me believe I’m making that little bit of difference in someone’s life. Since my mission statement in life is “Give a little – Take a little”, those few subscribers validate that I am delivering messages which resonate with and help others. One of the best ways to motivate me is to show I am being heard and that those words are making small changes that make the world feel a little less lonely. Having people follow my blog does this for me in such a beautiful and simple way. I thank every single one of you who have decided to join me on my journey.
As we move through our lives, we change through things that happen or choices we make. Yet, even with the changes, our essence remains constant. As an example, we can change from having mostly negative thoughts to being more positive. However, if a person is one who really needs to share thoughts and feelings, that can only be stifled for so long. Eventually, that volcano cap is going to blow, throwing lava all over whomever is standing close by. And, while it feels so good to let that pressure go, it’s not going to feel so amazing to those hit by the randomly thrown debris.
The volcano analogy is a lesson I have had to relearn many times throughout my life. For a while, I go about my life just being my outgoing smiling and problem-solving self, letting that lava flow at a controlled and safe rate. Then someone who I need to keep happy in order to remain employed comes along and tells me to put a cap on it. So, I do what is requested and seal off the flow. I don’t have to tell you what happens a few months later. We can only temper, not shut down, our natural flow because shutting it down eventually becomes destructive for all those within our personal blast zone. It’s easy to forget this in the pursuit of our much-needed paychecks. It’s also easy for those higher up in organizations to forget those in the trenches need to simply be who they are while performing their job duties. Remembering to manage each person as a person instead of as a piece of a collective is challenging.
Do we really need to live that way? Does being a productive member of the working world require that we must shut down key pieces of who we are? Why are some allowed to simply be who they are while others are required to change who they are? There have been many times I’ve been told to change key pieces of my personality or behavior to please others. Yet, the same person telling me to cap off my flow says to me, “That is just how that person is” about another person who is displaying the same behaviors. It’s confusing and frustrating.
I remember a time I was told to NOT make personal to do lists because it overwhelmed my coworkers when they saw it. “Your lists are too long” and “It’s more than anyone can get done in a day” were the reasons I heard over and over. These lists were my personal lists which had very little to do with my coworkers or those who I supervised. Yet, I was told I could not write these lists because it stressed everyone out. The experiences I’ve listed are just a small example of the criticisms I’ve received through the years. I always took the criticism to heart and adjusted to accommodate and please. There were many times that I thought I was compromising. The reality was that I was surrendering to keep the peace.
As I’ve been making plans for the next stage of my career, I’ve done several assessments to test various hard and soft skills. There were two soft skills assessments which gave me some “ah ha” moments. In thinking through examples of how I’ve used these skills successfully in the past, I realized that my passions live within those specific characteristics. Those also happen to be the skills which my former supervisors did not value. They simply did not understand my unique blend of soft skills nor did they know how to leverage those skills. Or is it that I did not know how to explain and demonstrate the value of those soft skills in a way that could be easily understood? It’s difficult to place the “blame” back onto myself. It feels like another round of self-abuse. However, there is an undeniable power in knowing that you can only control your own responses, reactions and feelings. How others respond to you has little to do with you and a ton to do with their own unresolved issues.
My new career goal will be to reinvent myself into a company culture leader or consultant. The steps involved not only include a ton of research but also a lot of self-reflection. This is the direction my blog will be taking from this point forward. I will be bringing you along as I work through the steps required to form a valuable and realistic program which, if applied correctly by companies, will lead to managers understanding the value of leveraging their own soft skills and those of whom they lead. My program will be led with a strong emphasis of self-awareness, gratitude, humor, kindness and acceptance. While these words sound like rainbows and sunshine, I can assure you they are not. These specific words are very often abused in the working world because they are not tempered properly by responsibility, communication, connectedness and individualization.
While I am switching up the material I will be writing about, I will remain true to my lava flow and continue to share thoughts, feelings and epiphanies I encounter along the way. Please chime in with comments and suggestions whenever the urge strikes you. These insights may be the exact valuable feedback needed to push me through a “block”.
As always, I thank you for your support and involvement!
