Even those of us who are so amazingly blessed in life sometimes struggle with the day-to-day challenges of life.

My work day yesterday started out as one which I knew was going constantly test my time management skills.  It ended leaving me full of deep questions about my career and, ultimately, my life.  I know what is the most important “thing” in my life.  I know where the majority of my time is best spent.  Most certainly, I know with WHOM that time is best invested and spent.

When you reach this mid-point in your life, the reality of how fast life passes by and the value of simple time is very thoroughly understood.  The value of memories you make with those you love increases greatly.  While money is important to keep you housed, fed and clothed, it just loses its value for just about everything else except how it can help you grow those wonderful, priceless memories.

My career is a very demanding one.  It can and will eat you alive if you let it.  It is not only demanding and selfish physically and mentally – it gobbles up time like there is an endless supply.  Being a dedicated, compassionate and responsible restaurant manager creates a unique battle between the needs of your business, your co-workers and your own.  In my opinion, the only other industry segment with more quality of life battles is healthcare.  Trying to pick and choose your battles – trying to learn when it is okay to say “no” and when it is time to make your personal sacrifices takes its toll.

I was approached with one of those “battles” yesterday.  While the career opportunity offered to me yesterday appears, on the surface, to be exactly what I have busted my rear-end for many years to achieve, suddenly, it just does not feel like a victory.  What it feels like to me is a request to take away more of my precious, limited time to make memories with the person I have waited so many years to find.  Over the past 20+ years, I have sacrificed so many other relationships, including those with my children, for this manic career.  I’m just not okay with doing that any longer.  Yet, I know, if I choose to decline the opportunity, it will be a “black mark” which will haunt my career future.  Even though my company knows my past battles, even though they know WHY I would say no at this time, even though they had several chances to make this happen earlier when the answer would have been a resounding yes – they will see my “no” answer as weakness and a lack of dedication instead of as a sign of true strength and dedication to remaining strong.

While I still do not know what my final decision about this opportunity will be, I do know, without one single doubt, what I will NOT sacrifice.  I know my personal “deal breakers” and have no problem stating and standing by them.  Believe me, that is SOOOOOOOO much harder than it sounds.  Sometimes the all mighty paycheck stands in the corner, glaring at you, along with several creditors with their hands out, making it harder to keep that spine straight and your mind focused on the most important life priorities.

The other nasty little ghost hanging in the corner is the one who says, “This is what you have asked for.  This is what you gave up all that other stuff for.  Are you going to toss it in the trash now that it is FINALLY being presented to you?!”   My answer to that specific little pest is this – I have already given up enough of my most precious pieces.  I have fed you what I should have savored myself with those who give me love in return.  You feed on me so that you may live.  Why should I give you any more than what is absolutely necessary?  Why should you be allowed to grow obese while I wither away from your feast?  It is time for you to compromise and allow me much more of the precious commodity you have stripped from me in the past – TIME.  Not money, not recognition – TIME………..